A Site for Sore Eyes

I’m not a morning person, but there’s a place I go every day that does what coffee can’t.

Everyone I love most is there checking in, like me. It’s how I know my niece and nephew in Idaho just got a black lab puppy, that my newest nephew here in Phoenix has a “Slaybaugh nose” by consensus, and that my twin 4-year-old nieces have gotten excellent at ballet, even though they used to plod around like a pair of tiny elephants, occasionally running into walls.

It’s our family website.

Here, we each have our online personalities, and they’re true-to-life.

Dad tries to be the ruler of the roost. Unfortunately, his online persona is far less scary than his real one. Here, it’s a war of the wits, and his heavy eyebrows and deep, dark voice don’t intimidate anyone. We’re all too old now, and too free-thinking — his contribution, ironically — to be intimidated.

Mom bustles around keeping him in line. Every grouchy utterance is immediately followed by a sunny one from her. Whether one of her kids got a job promotion, or one of the grandkids built a tall tower out of Legos, she’s got a sincere “Way to go!” at the ready.

My oldest brother is the instigator. He makes it his mission to stir up controversy. It isn’t tough to do, as our family is politically split down the middle.

My oldest sister spars with him. She has always loved a good debate. A flair for dramatics defines her, so a lot of her retorts are in italics. A lot of them.

Another sister is the jet-setter. She posts from her Blackberry on I-90 in Chicago (“Not driving”); while traveling parallel to the Teton Mountain range (“No sign of life…”); from a couch in Sun Valley, Idaho; and from around a fireplace in Montana, among other destinations. She’s proud of her Blackberry — and Dad likes to remind her that his “kerosene-fueled computer at home” works just as well.

My other two sisters are the peacekeepers. They like nothing more than to change a heated topic to a more light-hearted one. They quote a lot of movies, benignly discuss a lot of handbags, and dissect a lot of episodes of “The Apprentice.”

My twin brother and I fly under the radar (for the most part). As the youngest—read: most coddled—we don’t have the thick skins of our brothers and sisters. The rampant sarcasm and mild tormenting is mostly their domain.

That doesn’t they don’t provoke us, however, in which case we’ll take it for awhile. (As the youngest, we know it’s our job.) But when it becomes a true feeding frenzy, our aptitude for crafting well-timed one-line responses has earned us the reputation of “snipers.” After that, they leave us alone…for awhile.

I’m Telling You This for a Reason

While all this sounds diabolical, I assure you: All the harassment and debating and prodding only brings us closer — and we are, in fact, extremely close. Beyond what I’ve told you, there are plenty of birthday greetings, words of encouragement and family photos flying around … but those aren’t as fun to write (or read) about, are they?

Our family is large by conventional standards. My seven siblings, both parents, and all eight nieces and nephews have access to our little site.

Your family is 10, 50, even 100 times larger!

If all your members, staff, visitors and seekers felt welcome and encouraged to visit you online, imagine the sense of community you could build! But it’s going to take a lot more than just posting directions, worship times and staff info — it’s going to take interactivity.

Who will be your peacekeepers? Who will turn out to be the instigators? Who will be your online community’s jet-setter, checking in from the road?

You’ll never know until you give them somewhere online to congregate.

Best Wishes,

RaeAnn Slaybaugh
Editor
rslaybaugh@vpico.com